Time Travel...

I feel as though I somehow walked into a time warp and was propelled a year into the future. Yes, it's been just over a year since I last blogged and I am still on board with my stated philosophy of "no regrets."

What's on my mind and why has it taken a year to get me back to writing? First let me say, although there have been an abundance of special times and many challenges in my family life this past year they do not form the central theme upon which I ponder on a daily basis. Yet my daily pondering does intimately involve my family life. Intrigued? Let’s dive in…

What has been foremost on my mind over this past year has been the future of Kingston Presbyterian Church as it struggles through transition following the retirement of a long term pastorate of over 35 years. This struggle is not the result of the congregation being surprised by the change; the pastor was preparing the church leadership for change for more than 5 years and prepared the entire congregation for over a year. Rest assured, I am not looking to “air our dirty laundry” but rather write as a caution to others that they might avoid similar challenges.

There are many in our congregation who feel the struggles we have faced are the direct result of our Interim Pastor. Although I believe he has been a contributing factor, I feel the main reason for our struggles are the choices made by key leaders who failed to recognize the significance of key events or to address them with the seriousness they deserved. As we progressed through the year these key leaders and their actions continued to have a “snowball” affect and the congregation continued to split. In less than 18 months the lack of responsiveness and growing conflict caused the resignation of our Choir Director of 12 years.

What a wake-up call! Except it wasn’t, it became another opportunity to continue the spread of misinformation and hide from the real truth. Where will it end? Only time will tell. Now, where is that time warp???

No Regrets...

One of my intentions when I started this blog was to post regularly. Well, as you can see, I have already failed miserably with this goal. Normally this might have upset me, but I must admit this time I have no regrets! Why? Let me explain...

Life is a series of lessons and if we are attentive and properly prepared we have the opportunity to learn and grow. Some lessons are fun and easily learned, while others are a struggle to get through and take their toll on us. But, as in nature, it is often the struggle to succeed that strengthens us and prepares us better for future challenges. When a young chick breaks free of its shell it is strengthened and prepared to face life, if you were to help the young chick break out of its shell it would be too weak to survive.

Facing the loss of my son-in-law, Joe Deak, to cancer on December 5, 2011 was the start of one of those lessons which has been a huge struggle for me and many others. From the time Joe was first diagnosed less than 2 years ago we learned to appreciate even the most common day to day moments we were priveleged to share. Joe taught us by example to live your life to its fullest and be thankful for every moment, even in the midst of so much pain and suffering.

I am still learning how to live my life without regrets - this is not to say I do not regret Joe's death at such a young age, but it does mean I am learning to take advantage of the time I have right now and prioritize my life around those I love. When Joe passed from this life I was able to reflect and realize I had no regrets - I had spent precious time creating memories for a lifetime with Joe, I shared with Joe those memories of life with him which I will always treasure, I told Joe how I felt about him and his family, and I committed to Joe I would do all within my power to watch over his family while keeping memories of him alive.

Joe, Domani and Anne Deak

In the midst of much sorrow, I have found an inner joy as I have begun to learn this lesson: Do not let opportunities pass you by which you will later regret not having taken advantage of them, and do not regret the circumstances which affect your life which you could not control or change.

But enough of my rambling, please take a few moments and share your thoughts. More importantly, take time now so you too will be able to say: "I am living my life now so I will have no regrets"

Thinking on thanking ...

As the year ebbs on thoughts change much like the seasons here in the Northeast USA. Recently, we celebrated Thanksgiving, a national holiday centered on thankfulness. From my thinking on thanking this holiday is celebrated with many different traditions.

There is a growing core for whom celebrating Thanksgiving is seeking out the incredible sales of retailers looking to capture a "lion's" share of expendable dollars spent by consumers in preparation for holiday giving to family and friends. Now don't take me wrong, I'm not a grinch or scrooge - I just believe there is more to giving than spending.

There is also a growing core for whom celebrating Thanksgiving is filled with self indulgences. This includes the sports fanatic who will gorge themselves on Pro, College and High School football while consuming hour after hour throughout the long holiday weekend watching game after game to the exclusion of precious time which could be spent with family. Meanwhile others will engorge themselves with an overbundant table setting of turkey with all the trimmings and/or other favorite choices of nourishment. When filled to overflowing they will seek a comfortable place of repose and pass into peaceful sleep - some more quietly than others.

Then there are those who spend the holiday thinking on thanking - recognizing the many blessings in their lives and thanking God our creator for his touch on our life and the lives of our family and friends. Sometimes, we are facing challenging times and it is tough to find the blessings. We have all faced difficult times like this in our lives but if we are thinking on thanking we will see the hidden blessings in our life.

Count me among those thinking on thanking - even in the most difficult of challenging times!

But enough of my rambling, where are you when it comes to thinking on thanking?

Working through my prejudices with Strawberries, Bananas and Raisins...

No, these are not the ingredients to my latest new recipe. In fact, these are all foods which would currently be on my list of "I don't eat..." Some would call me a finicky eater because I am pretty selective as to what I will and will not eat. And I will be the first one to admit there is truly no rhyme nor reason outside the vast void of my own thoughts. Fact is, as an adolescent I enjoyed eating all three of these foods as often as I could get my hands on them. So just how whacky are my eating habits?

I love tomato based sauces but won't eat tomatoes - unless of course they are in a salsa. I will not touch seafood of any kind - unless it is tuna fish out of a can, mixed with mayonnaise and served as a sandwich. I really don't think I am all that unusual in my eating habits, I know others who are just as quirky or even more quirky than I am when it comes to food.

So why would you care? My belief is that just like so many other areas of our lives our eating habits are created and potentially changed by our life experiences. For instance, I said I will not touch seafood of any kind but it is not because I have tried it and found I didn't like it. In fact, like so many prejudices in our lives I am really not sure why I feel this way. Could it be because my father's favorite protein was red meat? Perhaps my dislike of seafood was influenced by my lifetime practice of catch and release fishing. To me the bottom line is this - the source of our prejudices is not as important as recognizing how we are influenced by them and working hard to get past them.

What prejudices are influencing you and the way in which you are living your life? Do you have a favorite recipe for overcoming these bad influences in our lives which we could all sink our teeth into? Share your thoughts, and together let's see if we can help each other grow through healthier living.

If at first you don't...

If at first you don't succeed, try again. But just suppose for a moment it would not be in your best interest to succeed. I have tried a lot of different things over the years and I'll admit I was not successful at every one of them - which I am sure will come as a shock to my family. (I am, afterall, perfect.) Yet, even in every failure there is the ability to succeed. How? In every failure we experience there is a lesson to be learned. Look for the opportunity for growth as you take on life's challenges. Remember...If at first you don't succeed, try again or when all else fails - look for the opportunity for growth as you take on life's challenges.

But enough of my rambling; are you driven to succeed? What is your reaction to personal failure? Do you have a personal philosophy on life you would like to share which could help us all?